


Finding Footing

by RedWyvern



Series: Echoes of Dreams [6]
Category: Final Fantasy XIV
Genre: Domestic Violence, pre ARR
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2020-11-23
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:53:56
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Rape/Non-Con
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,337
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27678356
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedWyvern/pseuds/RedWyvern
Summary: PLEASE MIND TAGS.This story could also be called 'Why Atara became a Gladiator'. Set Pre ARR time frame between it and after Dalamud's fall.
Series: Echoes of Dreams [6]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1697563
Comments: 3
Kudos: 3





	Finding Footing

“So what’s his problem, if you talked to him ‘bout it?” Adalberta poured herself another glass from the unidentified bottle, the dark brown liquor sloshing a bit as she set the bottle down heavily next to it. “You did talk t’ him ‘bout it, right? ‘m remembering’ that correct, right?”

Atara snorted faintly from her spot at the table in the miners guild, the xaela with her cheek propped against her palm, elbow on the table as she watched the liquid in her own glass swirl as she slowly shifted it about. “We did, right away. He wanted to be open…”

“So why do you think he’s gettin’ all weird cause we had a tumble?” The head of the miners guild wrinkled her nose as she took a drink, her words slightly slurred with the alcohol.

“Psh, come on Ada. He’s a Bloodsands gladiator. They think they’re Thal’s gift to the realm and all women and a not insignificant number of men wish to throw themselves at their feet. Of _course_ he wanted to be open, he wants to freely indulge in that back alley blow job from an admirer.” Mylla rolled her eyes as she finished her own drink and leaned back in her chair, crossing her arms over her chest. “So you think it’s a case of him wanting to be open but for you to be exclusive?” Atara gave the blond highlander a raised brow glance, Mylla quickly clarifying. “He wants all the fun, but wants to possess you.”

Adalberta grunted and Atara sighed, then shrugged one shoulder, downing what was left of her drink. “That sounds like it.” 

“I really wish you would tell me who it is.” Mylla waved her hand slightly as Adalberta offered to pour her another drink, Atara taking the other miner up on the offer and holding her empty glass to be filled. 

“I can’t, Mylla. You’re the head of the gladiator’s guild, if you don’t know I can’t tell you, I don’t want you to treat him different because you’re friends with me.” Atara mildly countered, her tailtip flickering lightly behind her. Lifting her glass, she muttered into it. “I’m surprised he hasn’t told everyone who would listen that he’s got the ‘rare au ra’ girlfriend.”

Mylla grumbled a bit. “I’d like to think I wouldn’t, but you’re probably right, since I’m inclined to the instinct to punch him in the face.” She sighed. “Ada, tell Ata again that she can join guilds other than yours and let me teach her.”

“Hey! I know full well I could. I don’t have room to carry a sword and shield with all my gear when on the expedition, that’s what the Concern hires guards for us for.” 

“I think Mylla’s more worried ‘bout when you’re here in Ul’dah than when out doin’ things for us here.” Adalberta leaned back in her own chair, fingertips lightly tapping against the side of her glass. “I donno, Ata, you swing a mean pickaxe, but maybe a sword and board would do you good for all the other times you’re not on the job.” 

There was a slight flash of pink as Atara stuck the tip of her tongue out at the two highlander women, the au ra making a light sound. “Okay, _okay_ , maybe. I’ll think about it.” She threw the rest of the drink back in one go, scowling and shaking her head a bit after as she set the glass down, clearing her throat. “I should go. I said I’d meet him tonight. Hopefully the day was enough to give him some space of sorts.” She pushed away from the table, reaching down and picking up her pack, slinging it over her shoulder. 

“A’ight, check in with me in the mornin’, we’ll be gettin’ the monthly request in from the alchemists, they liked how you handled the last one.” Adalberta offered the other woman a smile and a light wave, Atara nodding before she headed out of the miners guild, missing how Mylla watched her go. 

“Ada.” Mylla lowered her voice, the softening tone getting the other highlander to blink and glance up to her friend. “I think we should go ask around who exactly it is Ata’s seeing.”

The comment drew a raised brow from Adalberta, she pausing with her glass halfway to her lips, setting it down after a moment. “You’re that worried, huh.”

“Aye. I’ve got a bad feeling about this…There are only a few in the guild right now who also compete on the Bloodsands, and thinking about those options only increases my concern.”

“Alright, so why don’t we just go ask them?”

“And let them know that we know? No, we have to either think of something to be subtle about it or find someone who would know, or both. And before you even think it I refuse to spend a single gil on that ..’information dealer’ outside the pugilist’s guild unless we find nothing in at least an hour.” Mylla pushed back from the table and stood, Adalberta finishing her drink as she stood, setting the glass down and hurrying after the other hyur already halfway out the door with long strides. 

* * *

Briefly pausing to leave her pack and mining gear in the small, single room apartment she managed to afford on her guild pay, Atara changed into clean clothes before heading out into the crowded Ul’dah streets. She kept near to the wall and smoothly weaved between the others, ignoring the looks she’d occasionally get when someone noticed her black scales, horns and tail. While there were more au ra in Ul’dah than other cities, the traders briefly in Limsa notwithstanding, most of the ones who were were not xaela but raen, white scaled and easier able to blend in, she was still a sight uncommon enough to catch the eye. 

‘Which is probably why he decided I was ‘worth’ his time and attention.’ Atara mused to herself as she headed for the residential areas of the city, pushing through the crowded market. The Brass Blade on guard at the gate to the residential housing nodded his head in acknowledgement as she offered the roe a light smile. She’d been there enough for him to know her not as a refugee or beggar, and she hoped to one day be a resident. Once enough gil was made. The streets were quiet this time of day, she only passing one or two before she reached the area ‘her’ gladiator lived in. Another pause stilled her feet as she lingered in the shade of a cloth awning, lightly biting at her lower lip. The conversation in the guild bar lingered in her thoughts, and she felt her Elder spirit nudge her mind, something it only did when trying to get her to focus on something it thought was important. She had hoped that the day apart would soften the fury in her ‘boyfriend’, but she was beginning to realize that what it had done was raise question as to why she was with him, for her. 

“I like his company most of the time, sure.” She mused, thinking of how he could get her to smile and seemed to understand how different things were for her, here on the other side of the world from her family. But then she thought of how he tried to talk her into leaving the Miner’s Guild, claiming he could provide for both of them, which led into an argument about how important independence and self sufficiency was, that she didn’t understand why he seemed so...against the idea of, for her to have. A light sigh escaped her. He had come so close to convincing her this was how relationships worked in Eorzea, that one sided relationship of possessiveness while simultaneously being selfish and wanting the very things he demanded she surrender. She quietly thanked her Elder for having nudged her into asking the two women she had come to know if it was how things worked in the realm during dinner a few weeks prior. While neither Mylla or Adalberda had told her to leave him in those exact words, their opinion was fairly clear, even more so today after learning of his reaction to a bit of relaxation and play.

“But is his company, is that what I want?” The au ra asked herself quietly, looking about the empty street like she was hoping for someone to directly answer her. She’d be lying if she didn’t appreciate the stability of a relationship in her struggle to find her footing in this new land, feeling like she was constantly slipping and falling due to one misunderstanding or another. Having someone she could hide behind and curl quietly to, someone who was more than a friend. And she was quick to notice how the regulars around the Bloodsands and taverns both accepted her more, and alternately, left her alone and stopped asking to buy her drinks, once it was known she was in a relationship. But now the question of why they stopped that came to mind. In her tribe, it would be a sign of respect for the linked pair to not try to claim one or the other any longer. Once a pair had connected, it was up to them to reach out for any others, not for someone to try to insert, or to try to steal away one of the two. But she knew that the elezen that had constantly pestered her prior hadn’t suddenly changed, just diverted his attention to others that she knew full well were in relationships themselves. 

Were they all afraid of her boyfriend and what he would do to them? He oft boasted about how his nickname of ‘The Raver’ wasn’t just when he was on the Bloodsands, but she brushed it off as typical braggart talk for a gladiator. 

Now she wasn’t so certain, and felt the rise of the concern with defense in her mind.

Her good hand flexed at her side, and she briefly regretted leaving her pack of gear in her apartment. Even if she didn’t have her large pickaxe, she would have still had her small one that could work as a weapon in a pinch. She glanced over her shoulder at the way back, then shook her head. Delaying her arrival wouldn’t help anything, and better to not arrive looking like she was expecting a fight. Exhaling a breath, she straightened her shoulders, and continued down the street. 

* * *

“Can we ask Wymond yet.” Adalberta less asked and more heavily suggested to Mylla as the gladiator came back over to her with a scowl on her face, evidence of yet another refusal to answer. 

“I swear on Thal’s head that the entire contingent of gladiators who are also on the Bloodsands are going to get such a week of workout hell that they’ll wish they were all pugilists instead.” Mylla growled as she all but stalked back to the other woman. “I didn’t expect half of my guild to decide they were more afraid of someone else than  _ me  _ to the point they all pretend they don’t know what I’m asking about. We’re going to be getting rid of the old rules that allow them to pretend they don’t know who competes, no one does it in secret anymore.” She muttered. 

“What happened to trying to be subtle about it and make up some story about wanting to find out so that we could make sure to get the right metal for whatever gift it was Ata mentioned wanting to get him?” 

“I’m no good at lying.” Mylla growled as she scowled across the tavern at the gladiators attempting to merge with the bar on the other side.

A frown creased Adalberta’s brow as she followed the blond’s gaze, then grunted lightly again. “Okay, well, at this point, what do we know? Whoever it is has the rest of the gladiators who also compete completely whipped. Either they’re that good, terrifyingly brutal, or..”

“Both.” Mylla finished the thought, reaching up to lightly pinch the bridge of her nose between two fingers. “I regret deciding to not care about this season’s competition. It's just felt so...pointless, after The Calamity.”

Adalberta pushed herself from the bar. “Eh, that’s good ol’ Ul’dah, pretending the rest of the world isn’t on fire and clinging to its glittering facade.” Swallowing the bitterness in her voice, she flexed her hands a moment and then nodded once, turning towards the door and starting to head out, Mylla following after. “Okay, I have one idea, and if it doesn’t pan out  _ then  _ we’re talking to Wymond, I’ll owe him the damn favor if you don’t want to be in his debt. Gods, he probably already knows we’re out here asking questions about things.” The red-head pushed through the door with a huff, heading for one of the smaller side markets. “We’ve at least narrowed it down to a possible what, four?, who we haven’t been able to find. So now we just need to ask which of those four are the most...intense.” 

Mylla paused at the entry to the side street Adalberta was poised to go down, reaching out to grasp the miner’s arm. “Ada, this is not somewhere..”

The Ala’mighan didn’t exactly whirl around to face her friend, but the tension was obvious in her voice as she spoke. “Mylla, I love you, but you’ve really got to think like someone who’d rather break the law than follow it sometimes. Stay here, and I’ll be right back.” She pulled her arm from the other woman’s grip, then stalked down the street towards where the bookies and betting offices were, leaving the scowling blond at the junction trying to hide her frustration and failing. 

* * *

“You really are just some whore, aren’t you? To ask that of me?” Jojung the ‘Raver’ spat out, his voice dripping with venom that coated each word, the hyur standing and shoving away the chair he was in, it clattering to the floor behind him. 

It took the tightening of her jaw for Atara to keep from growling as she felt the anger from him even if the speed of his words made it difficult for her to follow with her grasp of the language. She didn’t flinch when he stood so abruptly from the table, but her tail flicked strongly behind herself once, keeping herself seated at the table. She watched him from the corner of her eye as he moved about the room, keeping her voice even though she wanted to shout. “If I were a whore I would have found employment in one of the pillow houses.” 

He stalked over to the side of the main room where his armor and weapons were kept, picking up the belt with his trademark dual swords hanging from it, starting to fasten it around his waist. “They will certainly still take you!” 

She closed her eyes a moment, then finally stood from the table herself, moving to pick up his fallen chair and slide it back into place, somewhat lingering near to the wall and the door into the kitchen, the one place the back of her thoughts suggested she do so that might have something she could use to defend herself if needed. She felt her anger and frustration building inside of her, roiling through her like boiling water. 

“Tell me, Jojung…” She clenched her jaw as her hands flexed restlessly. A flash of caution came from her Elder spirit, but she was too focused on her emotion to pay attention, continuing despite the attempted warning. “..if I am a whore for asking why I can’t be as free as you, what does that make you, who demanded to be allowed to be open at the start?” The red light in her eyes flashed as she looked up to find him facing her, halfway between her and where he had been a moment earlier. There was a moment of heavy silence between the two before she heard the shifting of his feet on the wooden floor.

She didn’t expect him to move with the speed that he did, bent down lower to the ground as he moved forward like a striking snake, one fist connected with her gut and forced her breath from her in a gasp, doubling her over. His other hand then latched onto her throat, pressing forward and slamming her back against the wall with enough force to knock some objects off of the shelf, sliding her up with his grip until her feet left the floor. Her mouth opened in a breathless cry as her head slammed back against the wall, the tips of her horns cracking against the sandstone and sending her mind ringing, hearing muffled. Dimly, her mind registered to grasp his wrist in her hands as best she could, pulling herself up enough to try to suck in a desperate breath. Rolling her eyes open, she tried to focus on his face in front of her, clouded with tears, darkness creeping to the edges of her vision. “Do all whores where you’re from dare to question their superiors?” He hissed, spittle hitting her cheek as he spat out his words. She strained for breath, her lungs screaming for air. “It’s simple. You are a woman, a whore. I am a man, your superior.”

He pulled her forward from the wall slightly, only to slam her back against it again, her head connecting with the stone and throwing her into darkness. 

* * *

Mylla lightly tapped her foot on the cobbles, leaned back against a wall, trying to not scowl at anyone who glanced at her as they walked past. A bell had nearly passed since Adalberta had gone into the street of, as far as Mylla was concerned, ‘ill repute’, and she was doing her best to keep her focus on not getting angry. She continued to remind herself as to why she was there, letting the concern for their au ra friend mute her normal dislike for the areas of gray that the street at her side specialized in. Adalberta was right in that they had managed to narrow it down to only a few of the remaining Bloodsands gladiators, and while the other woman was hopefully finding out which of those it was, she focused on thinking to the guild records of where every member lived. Lightly tapping her fingers against her arm, she exhaled. “Well at least the remaining suspects all live in the same area.” She muttered lightly.

“Good, then you’ll know where to go to find this ‘Raver’ person.” Adalberta’s voice spoke from her side, startling Mylla some from her thoughts as she pushed from the wall to face the miner. Adalberta couldn’t help but notice Mylla’s expression falling from angry into a serious focus, one of her brows twitching slightly.

“Come again? ‘Raver’?” Mylla’s voice kept control, but it was a very tight control that Adalberta had only witnessed when Dalamud fell and the city was thrown into chaos, when Mylla helped bring Ul’dah back from the riots. Mylla’s eyes briefly flicked to Adalberta’s shoulder, noticing the pickaxe there that wasn’t before, then back to the other woman’s face.

Adalberta watched Mylla’s expression as she nodded. “Took a bit of asking but after a bit of...negotiation…” She shrugged the new axe on her shoulder a bit. “..I finally got a name. Joju-”

“Jojung the Raver.” Mylla finished, turning away and starting to walk with purpose and speed, Adalberta following with no hesitation. 

“We know who this is?” Adalberta scowled at a roe that bumped into her shoulder as she followed the other guild leader, Mylla’s intent and focus causing the crowd to just veer around her, but that had a few get into Adalberta’s space. Mylla didn’t answer, the redhead scowling at the blond’s back. “Mylla.” She growled faintly. “Mylla, who is this guy?”

“The one I was afraid it would be.”

* * *

She felt cold and didn’t understand why. Ul’dah and Thanalan were hot, even in the ‘cold’ nights she felt warm. It felt like she was immersed in the ocean, again, surrounded and everything a drag for any movements attempted. The strike that came then to her cheek was a sharp, stark contrast, reality flashing back as she gasped and opened her eyes as her head was knocked to the side, grunting as her horn hit wooden floor this time instead of sandstone wall and she began to taste blood on her lips. Everything slammed back into place, the memory of what was happening flashed back and she reflexively began to struggle even before her eyes managed to focus, opening her mouth to cry out in anger. 

The noise was choked off before it left her, the awareness of the grip on her throat coming back as Jojung flexed his hand as he leaned over her, his scowling face coming into her view. “No no, slut, you do not get to disturb the peace. I will teach you your place one way or another.” She grasped at his wrist again with her good hand, her other hand trying to grip down on the smooth floor as she glared at him above her. Realization of the rest of her body filtered into her mind as he curled his lip in a snarl, his free hand pushing down hard on her gut, making her struggle for breath even more than just from the grip of his hand on her throat. She was nude, the stinging heat at points on her body suggesting he had cut her clothing free. He was still dressed, but his length was freed from his loose pants, hanging heavy like his swords hung on his belt. 

She knew this was going to hurt. She had been intimate before coming to Eorzea, so it wasn’t some sort of newness which hurt, but more how with him, it nearly always ached. He rarely ever had cared for her own pleasure, and now was certainly not going to be the time for him to start. She tried to do what she could to stop it, to at least attempt to brace herself, but his leverage over her and control over her breath was too great. His grip on her throat lessened as he leaned back to position himself and she dragged in a breath to call out, but the sound that came instead of a called out word, was one of pain as he thrust into her. He made a sound of pleasure at hearing her cry, but tightened his hand yet again on her bruised neck as he continued to press forward. The heat of blood flowed from the tears in her skin, strained to breaking, not aiding the passage of his intrusion any, she’d more likely consider it to have made it worse. He reached up with his free hand once he was deep enough to stay within her, grunting as he continued to thrust, grasping one of her horns, knowing the discomfort of the grip. He lifted her head and turned her, forcing her to face him as he began to take her in earnest. 

She let herself glare at the face above her as if she were trying to burn his skin from his skull, anger climbing higher with each painful drag and push into her body, feeling every gasp of air she was allowed to flow through her bruised throat and barely dent the burning in her lungs. Her eyes only closed when he would lift and then slam her head back into the floor, seeming to enjoy the powerful shudder this would shock through her every time, not caring that it took longer each time for her eyes to open to glare at him again, he only caring for the tears that flowed unhindered from her slowly unfocusing eyes. 

The part of her mind aflame with anger and fury noted the time he took to violate her, a small point of pleasure at noting how quickly he spilled his seed into her, though she had no strength to mock him for it, leaving the thought in her mind unsaid. Dropping her head, he laughed as he flexed his hand on her throat, then let it go as well, knowing she at the point to be unable to speak with how darkly bruised her red skin was, it swollen by her scales. He was silent above her, clearly admiring her state as he looked down over her, listening to the ragged hiss of her breaths and watching the tremble and shudder of her form. 

“No. No pillow house will want you. I’d best put you down.” Jojoun smirked as he leaned down, resting one hand at the side of her head as his face neared hers, watching her eyes focus on his with that muted fire still smouldering in the red light within. He reached down across his body, grasping at the hilt of one of his swords and starting to slowly draw it from the sheathe. The angle was such that she felt the pommel against her skin, cold and heavy, but its smoothness was quickly replaced by the biting sharpness of the edge of the blade, eyes widening as she clenched her teeth and curled her bloody lip, bearing fangs at him. 

That fury in her eyes briefly faded, overtaken by the realization that there was something on his blade, something that made the stinging fire of the slowly deepening wound spread through her muscles and cause them to weaken and still. Of course he would poison his blades, regardless of the Bloodsands rules, the anger flaring back to life as she reached up her good hand, trying to grasp at the arm pulling the blade ever so slowly up her torso as the heat of her blood coated her abdomen. He laughed, letting her try. “I knew the bitch would still struggle. You’re the only one who tries to put value to your worthless life, you know.” 

Higher still the blade pulled, he drawing it at an angle across her torso to mark her from her left hip towards her right shoulder and between her breasts, pushing it down to slice deeply into her with the curved edge of the sword. The smell of blood assailed her senses, the heat and slickness of it feeling as though it was covering her entire body, the weak, paralyzed state of her muscles left slack as the edge passed. While her fury was mirrored with a rising fear, his obvious pleasure at her pain and emotions was written across his expression. Finally the tip of the sword pulled through the wound as he completed the draw, a low whine and shudder shaking her body as her arm fell limp to the side. 

He held the sword up in front of him, between his face and hers, turning it slowly to admire the glisten of blood on the metal before he turned it again, lowering it and pressing the edge of the blade below her chin, pressing her head slowly back as the edge of the blade threatened to slice into her skin again. He opened his mouth to speak, to say something befitting of the smirk on his face, but a loud thud came from the door, his smirk turning to a snarl as he lifted up some to look. The thought of interruption was clearly not something to have come to him prior, the hand by her head lifting to cover the weakened au ra’s mouth. There was another thud to the door, then the wood splintered as the end of a pickaxe crashed through, ripping near the whole door off of it’s hinges when it was quickly dragged back. 

The remains of the door shattered into the room as Mylla lowered her shoulder and slammed through, twisting with her next step and flinging her shield through the air with practiced skill and keen aim, the metal and wood connecting with Jojoun’s chest and shoulder and throwing him back and away. He had enough thought to try to cause his sword to bite into Atara's neck, but it only cut across scale as he was tossed through the air and crashed into the table behind. The guildmaster wasted no movement as she caught her shield as it returned to her, lowering it to brace as she clashed into the other gladiator, the impact breaking the table and sending the two to the ground. 

Adalberta followed in Mylla’s wake, her eyes wide as she pushed through the door and took in the bloodied room in front of her. She barely glanced at the two gladiators as they began to scuffle, save noting that the guildmaster was trying to push him into the kitchen beyond to get him as far from the wounded woman as she could, the shouting and yelling between the two wordless and filled with emotion as sword met shield and metal met metal with loud, echoing sounds. Grabbing a cloak from the hook near to the door, she hurried forward to crouch at Atara’s side, speaking with a shaking voice as she laid the cloak over the nude figure. “Hang on Ata, you’re safe now..” She repeated this as she gently as possible lifted the smaller woman into her arms, trying to look as confident as she could as she met the others woman’s pain hazed eyes. Without a glance at the fighting gladiators, Adalberta nearly slipped on her friend's blood before finding her footing and hurrying from the small home. 

* * *

“Excuse me? I have what now?” Atara asked in a voice barely more than a rough whisper as she eyed Adalberta, the other woman coming over to her hospital bed, excitedly pulling up a chair. 

“A house! Per Ul’dhanian law, the victim of a crime like..well..” The red headed hyur gestured lightly towards the bandaged au ra, who snorted lightly in acknowledgement of the comment. “..anyway, per the law, you are now the owner of most of his assets, especially the house. He’s already been shipped off, and the Crown of course gets a portion of it for costs associated, but hey.” She pulled a satchel to her side, reaching in and pulling out a pack of papers, setting them on the table at the bedside. “Mylla suggested that you sell the stuff inside and the house and buy one somewhere else and I’m of the same mind. Gonna call in a favor to help get the current place cleaned up so you can do that.” 

Atara glanced sidelong at the papers but didn’t reach for them, trusting her friend’s words. ‘Not exactly how I intended to become a homeowner..’ came the thought that drifted across her mind. She watched the other woman for a moment, then couldn’t help but smile lightly at the enthusiasm on Adalberta’s face. “Well...if I can sell that and get something else, I guess that can work.” 

“Great! We’ll get working on that right away tomorrow for you, don’t worry.” Adalberta started to babble on about her various ideas, Mylla joining the pair not long after the first evening bell rang, but Atara found herself not paying too much attention, simply enjoying the company of her friends and saviors, she would be quick to admit. She had agreed that once healthy, she would begin training with Mylla at the gladiator’s guild, and continue her work with the miner’s guild on the side. She felt the contentment from her Elder Spirit as the realization that she was finally, truly okay. 

For the first time since coming to Eorzea at her spirits bidding, Atara felt that her path was clear, and that she could advance with confidence towards the future, and come out of her experience all the stronger for it all.

She just needed to find her footing, and nothing would be able to stop her now. 


End file.
